Major Confusion...

it's possible that throughout my life i've always been told what direction to go in. but now that it's finally my turn to make a decision, i'm totally lost. i am a fourth year college student that still can't answer the question, "so what do you want to do after graduation?" i have absolutely no idea. sometimes i don't even know what i'm doing here. if someone asked me, "what do you enjoy?" i wouldn't give "public relations" as my answer, so why is that my major? well, i can't do numbers and science doesn't make sence, leaving my options quite minimal.

i like writing. i'm not sure what about, but i know i like it. writing has been one thing that comes easily to me. i'm not gifted, but i can do it. is that why i like it? i dunno, i hope not. i don't think anyone should ever spend their life doing something just because they can do it.

the other day my mom asked me if i was sure i didn't want to be a writer. the answer: no, i'm not sure (surprise). i'm not sure i want to be writing press releases for a majority of my career. i'm not sure i would enjoy writing business memos to people that wouldn't read them. i'm also not sure i want to write speeches for people that don't care what they say. i'm not sure at all about what i want to do.

so until someone tells me what to do and where to go, in the mean time i guess i'll be practicing my math.

Celebrity Rehab

i know it's been said millions of times before, but again i have to ask, what is it with today's celebrities? are they really as pathetic and unintelligent as they seem on TV and in magazines? i can't even begin to fathom what goes on inside the heads of these people as they rationalize their own idiotic behavior. actually, it's pathetic i'm even writing about this or concerning myself with the topic at all, but it's impossible not to admit that this annoying part of our society has sucked me in to its gossip sites and weekly tabloids. from what i've heard, this used to be a world of beautiful Audrey Hepburn's that little girls could look up to. it's sad and disappointing that today we're given the ugly results of abuse and dumb decisions. in a place where multi millionaire, untalented screw ups are making our evening news on a regular basis, it's hard to imagine what it'd be like to be blissfully unaware that britney spears failed another drug test and lost custody of her kids. but nah, this is our entertainment...this crap is actually happening to the lives of these people and we get to watch them live it.

once the rehab centers shut their doors, all the pills are popped and the paparazzi go home is when we'll probably stop caring.

a day at the movies

i just got home from seeing a movie with my roomates. now that i'm sitting here, reflecting on how many hours of homework i have ahead of me, i'm thinking the movie wasn't such a good idea. but despite that, is the movie i just saw a piece of writing? is any movie a piece of writing? the first day of class we discussed what constitutes as forms of writing...what's the difference between an award winning novel and a webpage address? they both consist of letters, punctuation, words. so does a film. it starts out with a script; words that get read, then memorized, then acted and eventually produced into something that shows the words coming to life. it's debatable because the final product of a movie doesn't seem like it should be considered a piece of writing, yet at the very beginning, that's exactly what it was.

so to answer my own question, well, i guess i already did. the chick flick i just watched definatly wasn't Shakespeare, but it was still formed the same way. at the very beginning, that's exactly what it was, a piece of writing.

driving while dreaming

once i had a conversation with a man that told me to write down my dreams. he said they were shortcuts to what we can't figure out in life. i never took his advice because it seemed like too much work. when i wake up in the morning, usually the first thing i want to do doesn't involve writing down a bunch of stuff that never happened. however, i thought about what he said and decided to do a little research on a reoccuring dream i seem to have just about every week.

lately i've had some horrible dreams of being in a car that doens't have any breaks. i'm always in this car that runs into things going extremely fast. apparently, this type of dream denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.

hmmm...

fast food frustration...

today i woke up with the strongest craving for McDonald's french fries and a Big Mac. as soon as i arrived at the divine golden arches it was 10:40 am. i quickly spit out my order to the woman on the other end of the speaker. her reply: "we're not serving lunch for another 20 minutes." how could i forget. any avid McD's customer knows breakfast is served until 10:30 on weekdays and 11:00 on weekends. i could either wait for a Big Mac or order something breakfasty. naturally, my hunger wasn't providing me with any patience so i decided a hash brown and Cinnamon melt would suffice.

good things come to those who wait. but i hate waiting. and that's life.